One day Mum said she wanted to visit my uncle in the Netherlands. I said okay, and off we went to the embassy. Two weeks later, our visas arrived. Just like that! It was my first trip abroad. I had only twenty million tomans in my account, and my job was hardly impressive. I mention this because I still cannot understand why people pay others to get them visas—amounts that, if I had them, I would happily spend enjoying myself right here at home. Anyway, with a freshly shaven head, I set off for the lands of the infidels.
The ticket
Through sheer luck, I found a Turkish Airlines business-class ticket for the outward flight costing just 300,000 tomans more than economy. “To hell with it,” I thought. “Let’s spend a little.” The good thing about Turkish business class is that, with a long wait in Turkey, you can enjoy the airport’s business lounge. We went in and thought: why bother going to the Netherlands? Everything is here. As far as we are concerned, the holiday is complete! We may have paid an extra 300,000, but we ate and drank at least three million tomans’ worth.
The Dutch lands
One of Haji’s talents—Haji being yours truly—is sleeping under any conditions, even on the buffet counter of a Scania coach. After all that eating, I was heavy with sleep and halfway through a nap when we arrived. Puffy-eyed and thoroughly irritable, I entered the airport and found myself face to face with an immigration officer.
Officer: Why do you want to enter the Netherlands?
Haji: To visit my uncle.
Officer: Do you have an invitation letter?
Haji: Yes.
Officer: Can I see it?
Haji: I didn’t bring it!
Officer: You have to bring it.
Me: I didn’t read that anywhere. Besides, your embassy issued my visa, so they have seen it. Would you like me to call my uncle? He’s already here!
Officer: Welcome to the Netherlands. And give us a smile!
Me: I’ll do my best.
In the end, I did not smile. I just walked out. This is generally how they treat you with an Iranian passport. I usually refuse to be intimidated and give as good as I get.
The country of bicycles
If I had to sum up the country in one word, I would say “bicycle”. Urban design revolves around cycling: separate cycleways with lanes in both directions, bicycle traffic lights and even dedicated paving, in towns large and small. Bicycle parking is everywhere. The sheer amount of cycling is astonishing. Seeing a woman with her young child in a bicycle basket is nothing unusual. Daily cycling was one of the best parts of the trip, especially through the forests. Another advantage is the flat terrain: no hills to battle, so riding is easy.
Postscript: In the Netherlands I discovered that there were men’s and women’s bicycles. The latter have no high crossbar, so women do not have to lift a leg over it. I also learnt to get onto the saddle using a pedal. Apparently, I had been doing it wrong my whole life.
A green country
Europe is the green continent, but the Netherlands seems greener than all the rest. Dutch society feels almost like a modern countryside. Industrial development has not meant sacrificing the environment and trees, as happened so readily in our own country, where we imagined that cutting down trees and building polluting factories would make us advanced.
The country is wonderfully clean: the air, roads, homes, everything. What I enjoyed most was that rural tranquillity within a modern society. Each town seems to sit inside a forest; the idea of a separate park barely makes sense. Sadly, the Dutch have yet to discover the fine arts of chicken kebabs and hookah, so their parks lack our barbecue arrangements.
Amsterdam
Amsterdam has a square called Dam Square. Step out of the railway station and everything is there. The train ticket cost €16 and let you travel throughout the Netherlands for a whole day—a summer special at the time. The trains were not particularly fast, but it is not a large country. Allow roughly an hour and a half to get from one town to another.
Dam Square is in the city centre, and, to my mind, the whole country’s sights seemed to be concentrated there. I arrived at nine in the morning. By three in the afternoon, I had finished the Netherlands!
Honestly, I did not find Amsterdam’s sights especially remarkable: a cruise along the canals, the former Heineken brewery, and the red-light district—a neighbourhood of sex workers that is itself a tourist attraction. The most interesting stop was BODY WORLDS, where real human bodies are displayed. If that is not your thing, you might feel rather unwell. You can see its website here.
Final thoughts
I did not explore much of the Netherlands. Although I both entered and left Europe through it, I did not stay there very long. I think it is a beautiful country if you love nature and greenery. I spent more time cycling through forests and parks than wandering around towns. My personal record was 120 kilometres in a day. 🙂
Ahad Khani explored more than I did, so I recommend his travel accounts of the Netherlands.